Fried Green Tomatoes

My day started out happily enough. Butterflys landed on me and gave me kisses. Smiley faces floated around me. I hadn't a care in the world.

Then my mom wanted to watch a movie. It was called "Fried Green Tomatoes" There was this sweet old lady who was telling a story and she was so lovable. I liked this movie.

Then the woman she was telling the story to came into her room to see her and found a nurse taking down the things she had in her room.

I was upset. How could they end the movie like that? She hadn't even finished telling her story. Needless to say, I started crying. The walls behind me turned gray with sadness.

I was so relieved. She wasn't dead! And thus I went to bed slightly happy again. Such a rollercoaster of events.

Sadly enough, that's all I could think to write.....again.

Procrastination!

I tried to think of something to write this morning. I really did. I battled loads of monsters just to get to my computer. See?

I was being attacked from everywhere. There was some kind of green goblin and a pony and a carnivorous bat. And the goblin had already bitten something because there was blood on it's teeth. Or it was drinking red kool-aid. I'm not really sure which. This is how it went down:

Goblin: *some weird gurgling noise*

Me: I need my computer!!! :O

Pony: *made a sound that came from something evil*

Me: No! I have to blog!

Bat: HAHA! No, I gotta check my facebook.

Then a most epic battle ensued:

It was all very traumatic. Well okay, here is how I actually tried to get an idea:

Yeah. I sat down and just stared at the empty screen for a while. The I read my other post again. And that didn't help at all. So I made a mistake. I told myself if I watched a movie, ti would help along the creative process.
And here's the problem. I turned on the movie "Howl's Moving Castle" and forgot all about the computer sitting on my lap.

That was at 9:30 this morning. It is now 5:30 in the afternoon. I am a really good procrastinator

Snack-time gone horribly wrong.

Have you ever had one of those moments when you thought you were about to die? When in fact you just were overexaggerating something? Yeah. I hate those moments.

THE SPIDER EYE:


So I'm feeling all healthy and think, I'm hungry, I want a snack! So I grab a plum from the counter. It's all squishy and gross, but I think, what the hey, it should be delicious! It looked like the best goddamn plum to me.

Then, as I pick it up to wash it off, I see it. A small little spider crawls out of the perfect little plum I had previously selected.

Then I dropped that shit like it was on fire. Everything was fine for a couple minutes while I tried to get the fact that I had just touched something that had a spider on it out of my mind. Then my eye started to itch. And here's were I began to irrationally panic.

This is probably what actually happened:

This is what I thought happened:

Of course, I freak out. There is most definitely a very pregnant spider in my eye and she is about to unleash her little spidey-offspring. I won't call them children becasue I don't think you can call something that is a creature of the devil a child. It just sounds wrong.

So then for most of you, the obvious solution would be to simply wipe away at my eye. But no. In my mind, I looked down at my hands and imagined this:




That's right. Tons of little spiders crawling all over my hands. I had, after all touched a plum which a spider had crawled out. This meant that an infinite number of them had gotten on my hands and the second I touched my eye, they would all go there and have their own little spider-spawns.



That's when I saw it. My salvation.

So my tale ends with my trying to get a little eyelash that may have even been a little spec of dust out of my eyeball with a pathetic piece of tissue.